Friday, August 6, 2010

Saying no

So I am still doing my little tarot course with this lovely lady. Such a lovely way to spend an evening. Back a few weeks ago we learnt a really simple little spread, just two cards;

What do I need to let go of
What do I need to allow in

I can't remember what I needed to allow in but for the what do I need to let go of, I got the Eight of Wands. It's a really nice card to have come up in a spread, it refers to lots of possibilities and opportunities and choices. Nice, of course, if you have time. Oh, and energy.

With our impending wedding (in October!), my business, the work Nadine and I are doing, writing, the other education-related bits of work I do each week, seeing friends, spending time with my fiance and everything else, I'm kind of at the limit of what I can physically do.

Like the card said, I'm having to let go of opportunities.

It is hard!

I like saying yes to things. I like that feeling of possibility, newness. Sometimes too, I must admit, pleasing others. These days, because I work for myself, saying yes is often related to additional income.

Also? The weddings are an outrageous expense thing? Not a myth.

But I've had to start saying no.

I'm having to really discern what is the best use of my time. I have to look after my energy. Noone gives me sick leave these days. I need to keep myself well, for a start. I can't afford to burn out.

I need to focus on what is most important, for me, and for us, at this time.

To trust.

There is enough.

Enough time, enough money, enough energy.

Even when I say no, there is enough.

Wedding dress fittings, selecting ceremony music with our organist, buying shoes, organising and printing invites, choosing wedding bands, liaising with my bridesmaids and their dressmaker in South Australia about their dresses, booking honeymoon accommodation ... these are some of the things I've done in the past week.

It's all fun stuff, that we will never do again.

There's a lot more of it to go!

We are pretty decisive and clear, so the process has been easy and flowy.

There's just a lot of stuff.

But it doesn't have to be hard. It can be light, if I let it. If I let some of the other, less necessary stuff go. If I'm gentle with myself as I do it.

Understanding, compassionate, caring. To myself.

I am going to enjoy the next ten weeks.

And if that means letting some other opportunities fly on by in the meantime, so be it.

They'll be back.


  1. Saying no is the hardest thing for me. I am always slightly overwhelmed. I am working on it. Looking after yourself is Ahimsa at its finest :)

  2. My Mum received a little book the other day, the basic message of which was "If it's not a HELL YES, then it's a HELL NO!" I am going to try and take this advice. xxx

  3. Good advice, Kez. I just said 'no' to a half day of teaching PE yesterday even though I could do it. To be honest, I would have stressed for 2 days leading up to it AND... had to go out and buy an outfit just so I had something to wear. Funny I did Sports Science as my first degree and my most feared day of teaching is PE!!