I asked her about her comment. She claimed she had picked up some writing tips from me. When pressed on what they might be, she said, "when in doubt, put a full stop." I'm sure THAT piece of wisdom - which of course I can't recall offering - makes all the difference!
It's not just one way though, my sister is the one who is good at all sports, running, acting and singing. And she is very organised. All things I shy away from. And I mention running when she probably hasn't run at all since school!
Isn't it interesting the way we make up our minds about what we are and are not good at.
I guess it is through our siblings that we first learn about who we are and who we are not in relation to others. Being "good" or "bad" at things seems so important and there are lots of ways to measure that - through grades, scores, results, games, events, races etc. Modes of comparison that mostly seem to fall away as you get older, and certainly become less relevant.
It is hard for me to even remember us competing or arguing as children, but I know we did. My sister can remember. When I told her I was writing about sibling rivarly, she suggested,
"Maybe mention that when the masking tape went down in the middle of the room, you got more space on your side because you got the doorway."
I've often heard it said that when looking for your passions to go back to your childhood as it was then that you were more likely to just do what you loved and what came naturally.
I suppose it is equally important to check in on whether you made any assumptions about yourself as a child that simply are not true anymore.
When working with clients I've also noticed it is quite common to hold onto old sibling patterns and rivalries. "Oh my sister was always the one who was good at art/ sport/ smarter/ prettier/ more popular."
Sometimes these beliefs are still holding the person back today. It can still be the reason why they won't, for example, draw or paint, even though they love it! And even though the comparison is no longer relevant.
It can also be true that the attention, time or energy that was devoted to this sibling as a result of whatever successes (or alternatively, issues) they may have had is still a source of resentment.
These days, I wouldn't regard my sister and I as competitive at all. It wouldn't even occur to me. Sometimes people tell me we're quite different. It's actually hard for me to say whether we are or not, I can't even really tell if we look alike.
We are very close and talk nearly every day, despite living in different states. She'll be my "matron" of honour later this year. She's funny, caring, loyal, strong and fabulous. And I love my sister to bits and pieces!
And yes, I've asked her to write for us again (when she's ready of course, new baby and all).
So, tell me about your sisterly or brotherly relationship! Any stories to share?
Image from Flickr: Sisters by mel e mo