Sunday, June 20, 2010

A lesson in looking after yourself .. and detachment

I was talking to my sister the other night about the whole money vs looking after yourself thing. How often we seek help right at the moment we need it, rather than having a planned approach to looking after ourselves (like booking sessions in advance). On feeling like there needs to be a "problem to fix" for us to justify spending money on our wellbeing.
And she has a pretty interesting perspective on this stuff so I suggested she share it with you. Here it is.

So my sister, Kerry asked me to do a “guest blog” after a conversation we had. I said, "no, I’m not the writer in the family." Reconsidered.. and here I am!

I was commenting that I used to always book in appointments to make me feel good or because I felt drained and in need of an instant “quick fix” pick-me-up at the last minute.
In fact, who am I kidding? I still do it now.

Whether it’s a haircut, massage, acupuncture, kinesiology session, facial, naturopathy or getting my eyebrows waxed, I often find myself on the phone asking if there’s any appointments free that week.

I must admit, I did break out of this mould just over a year ago when I was feeling pretty shattered with work and depressed after a long period of time trying unsuccessfully to fall pregnant. I committed to seeing an acupuncturist monthly.
Same day, same time, every month.

In the beginning… I wanted to “FIX THINGS” and get pregnant, plain and simple.

I asked lots of questions “what are you doing now?” “what are you checking for there?” “has that improved do you think?”

After a while I decided to forget “TRYING TO FIX THINGS”and just go with it. And ultimately I felt better when I left. It was worth it just for that fact. It was something I enjoyed each month and it fit in with my weekly schedule.

What do you know… when I stopped thinking I could “FIX EVERYTHING” and enjoyed the experience without expectation, things started to shift. I put my faith in the fact that I knew I would feel better when I left. I started to feel more in the flow of life. Happier. Less tired.

I fell pregnant.

I’m not saying that the acupuncturist was the answer to everything. But what I do know is that when I scheduled in “me time” regularly. I felt better on a day to day basis, less likely to “hit a wall” so to speak. I still go monthly.

I feel less weary and look forward to my monthly sessions – almost like a top up in the wellbeing account!! The monthly commitment is an investment in me "feeling good".

It’s just the experience I had so I thought I’d share. xxx
Isn't that freaking awesome??


  1. Oh my!
    What an inspiring story!

    I think that if you can (i.e. you are middle class and reading this blog) you should take care of yourself. Last year, when I was in the throes of More Change Than I Wanted, I found my regular massage and kinesiology sessions were my lifeline.

    I would probably forego a restaurant meal in favour of self-care of this sort. And I REALLY like food.

  2. YEY! You learned a BIG lesson. To just be present in the moment and take care of yourself. I know I always feel better when I get a manicure - like it gives me a boost of confidence or something.

    And the wee one in the pictures?? PRECIOUS!! Oh my goodness. Just the face of love, right there.

    Glad to see you jump into the writing pool. I think you did a great job.

  3. Fabulous story, thanks for sharing! I really believe if we make time for ourselves regularly we are much happier and less likely to, as you said, "hit a wall"! I also think taking care of yourself improves self esteem and confidence - it has for me anyway! And also when we relax and allow things to just be, that tends to be when the things we want find their way to us.

    What a beautiful baby you have too!

  4. Thank you for the lovely comments. I read them to my sis over the phone yesterday and she sounded a little *startled* that people had actually read her post ... and not only that ... but commented!

    I really want her to write the whole story of finally falling pregnant ... it was pretty dramatic and traumatic ... but fascinating. In retrospect! At the time, not so much.

    Anyway ... baby steps (quite literally!)

  5. Yes, thanks so much for the beautiful comments. I certainly feel like I had to keep learning the hard way about being kind to yourself and "not trying so hard". As much as I really don't want to relive some of the experiences we have had in the last few years, I was really forced to learn how important it is to make a regular commitment to looking after yourself.

    As for the whole story.... ??? Perhaps I'll revert back to my comment of "I'm not the writer in the family". Oh yes, I'm quite the comedian.

  6. I'm STILL learning the lesson, must be a very slow learner. You have and adorable baby, looking forward to your next installment.

  7. I'm so glad you shared your story - Mrs I'm not the Writer in the Family! I'm sure you've got much more to share too..

    I recently started making time for myself, I wake up early to write, take myself on 'creative dates' and have recently experienced my first Kinesiology session - something I plan to do again and again.

    I've got into a regular, almost not-negotiable routine, and I've found it amazing how much more energy I have because I've started doing this - making time to nurture myself. Kinda weird. Don't quite understand the forces at play, but I'm loving it.


    *) Leigh-Ann