Thursday, June 17, 2010

How much do you value yourself?

Do you love yourself enough to invest in yourself?

Oooh this can be a difficult one, for lots of us. Whilst it makes sense to spend money on ourselves in a way that has real value, many people find it challenging.

At the moment someone close to me is struggling with some stuff - major stress about money. Bearing in mind that, as is often the case, there is the "actual" issue, and then there's all the stuff they're telling themselves about the issue. Which is making it feel ten times worse. And also bearing in mind that when people close to me have issues it does push my "I need to fix and help this" buttons which yep - is something I'm working on.

It feels so real

The thing with money is that when it's a problem it feels so real and present and impossible to argue with. It's there in black and white. We can feel like there are no options.

I was talking to Amanda, my original Kinesiologist, and now friend, about the situation and how I could deal with it without getting too involved (or overwhelmed myself).

So Amanda asked me, "Are they having some Kinesiology sessions then? To move it along?"

This person has had Kinesiology (though not with me) in the past.

Oh no, I said, I think they'd definitely say they don't have money for that at the moment.

"Ha!" said Amanda:

The ones who need it the most always say that.

They save that ninety or hundred dollars and stay stuck in their fears, in feeling like they've got no choice but to feel terrible, it starts to affect their health, their happiness and their relationships.

If they'd just spend the money on a session or two, they'd get some clarity, see new choices, options and opportunities and change the situation, or at least how it's affecting them."

Pretty nuts huh?

Who would do that?

*Sheepishly raises hand*

That is definitely something I've done in the past. Thankfully it's something I've personally moved past. Phew. But then, I need to be relatively sorted and clear to do my work, so spending money on my own wellbeing is pretty much essential.

I'd argue it's kind of essential for all of us.

Money is definitely a tricky and complicated area. And many of us were raised to believe it is wasteful to spend money on ourselves and our happiness and wellbeing - unless we really need it. Like, we're sick. Or have run out of other options.

But it feels true!

Let's look at this. It is quite rare that we actually do not have the money to do something, especially something that's in the $100 range. Maybe we can't do it every week - but it's money we can come up with, even if things are tight, over a period of say, a month.

When we say we don't have enough money to look after ourselves, it is usually more likely that we either don't see the value that can be gained from getting ourselves back in balance, we don't know how (hint: Kinesiology is one good way), we don't value ourselves enough to invest in our own wellbeing, or we just want to spend the money elsewhere.


I'm sure most of us have had the experience of being stressed with "no money" and then either accidentally or intentionally having a big night out to "forget about everything" and "have some fun". The next day, we're tired, probably hungover ... we've spent wayyy more than we intended ... and now we feel worse. If we can find the money to do that, we can find the money to look after ourselves.

Otherwise it might be the couple of lattes we have each day, the impulse buys at lunch, whatever. If we're working, we generally have money. And aside from the essentials of shelter and bills, we are constantly making choices about how we spend that money.

Investing in yourself works

Often regular Kinesiology clients report feeling more flow and ease in daily life. In addition to those things they might focus on in their session, they'll often say they're:

- attracting in the right people to help them
- getting the support they need
- seeing more options for ther lives
- easily finding solutions
- generally liking themselves more and feeling happier
- taking action

What price can you put on that?

And sometimes, clients start to attract more money too. This is especially true if you bring it in as something to focus on. Wanting more money in your life is no bad thing - most of us are more effective when we're not in survival mode. Funny, that!

What kinds of things? One regular client won a major cash/travel prize at work as recognition for her efforts last year, another attracted the right people to sell her house at a higher price and for greater ease than she'd expected, several have moved to higher paying jobs that they enjoy far more.

I often find that the times when I'm truly nourishing and investing in myself, the phone seems to ring more often with new bookings. Everything flows. Interesting, huh.

When your internal world is balanced, the outside world reflects that.

Do you invest in yourself? If so, how?
If not, I wonder what good might flow in if you did?


  1. Hi ... I like this post because it really speaks to the issue of how to manage putting your needs first and how that can benefit you in the long run.

    Although I'm not a mom, I see this with my friends all the time. And I get it. Kids DEMAND your energy and attention and there's not much left over. But if you run yourself ragged, you have nothing to give. And that does no one (them and you) any good.

    Taking care of yourself IS taking care of others. I wish this were a universal concept rather than "Put everyone before yourself."

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. They's good ones! :-)

  2. Hi Lisa, thank you for your lovely comment. I'm going to pop across and check out your site. I think you're right, this must become especially true for mothers. Love this: taking care of yourself IS taking care of others. So true! :)

  3. I do invest in myself now (in fact I'm about to invest in a couple of inspiring ecourses for my business), but it took me a long time to understand I was worth it. I never saw the point in spending much on myself outside of clothes and mascara but I have to say the more I invest in myself the more time and energy I have for my projects, and for other people.

    Speculate to accumulate eh?

  4. When your internal world is balanced, the outside world reflects that.

    this just sums it all up !!!!

    good post kerry... and I got a mention too!! :)

  5. Well you're very wise Miss Amanda! I did actually mean to check if I could quote you!

    And Rachel - I love your comment. The whole investment in me creates time and energy thing is kind of interesting!

    Ooh and what ecourses are you investing in for your bus? I love that kind of thing too!

  6. Hi Kerry, I'm still trying to decide between

    All three come highly recommended....

    Speaking of inspirational courses, I wish I were in melbourne when you and Nadine are doing your thing :)

  7. Thanks for that Rachel ... oooh we must have similar taste, I've also looked at the empire building kit and white hot truth product ... they both look great but like you - can't decide. I'm a procrastinator with that stuff. I hadn't seen Kimberly's, will have to look at that, thank you!

    Oh thanks for your comments about our workshop, it is super exciting. We put on a second date after the first sold out in a couple of weeks and that is half sold already. It's not til the end of July!! xx