Friday, September 24, 2010

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Compose your Life


Nadine and I are so excited to announce our next event! Spend a day composing your life with us. Sunday 12th September in Middle Park!
More details at my new site: www.awakenkinesiology.com and at our new joint site: www.nadineandkerry.com. Pop across and say hi! xx

Monday, August 9, 2010

This blog has moved!

I'm now blogging over at my *new site* at http://awakenkinesiology.com

Do come visit, you can subscribe to my new blog over there!

Hugs, Kerry x

Friday, August 6, 2010

Saying no

So I am still doing my little tarot course with this lovely lady. Such a lovely way to spend an evening. Back a few weeks ago we learnt a really simple little spread, just two cards;

What do I need to let go of
What do I need to allow in

I can't remember what I needed to allow in but for the what do I need to let go of, I got the Eight of Wands. It's a really nice card to have come up in a spread, it refers to lots of possibilities and opportunities and choices. Nice, of course, if you have time. Oh, and energy.

With our impending wedding (in October!), my business, the work Nadine and I are doing, writing, the other education-related bits of work I do each week, seeing friends, spending time with my fiance and everything else, I'm kind of at the limit of what I can physically do.

Like the card said, I'm having to let go of opportunities.

It is hard!

I like saying yes to things. I like that feeling of possibility, newness. Sometimes too, I must admit, pleasing others. These days, because I work for myself, saying yes is often related to additional income.

Also? The weddings are an outrageous expense thing? Not a myth.

But I've had to start saying no.

I'm having to really discern what is the best use of my time. I have to look after my energy. Noone gives me sick leave these days. I need to keep myself well, for a start. I can't afford to burn out.

I need to focus on what is most important, for me, and for us, at this time.

To trust.

There is enough.

Enough time, enough money, enough energy.

Even when I say no, there is enough.

Wedding dress fittings, selecting ceremony music with our organist, buying shoes, organising and printing invites, choosing wedding bands, liaising with my bridesmaids and their dressmaker in South Australia about their dresses, booking honeymoon accommodation ... these are some of the things I've done in the past week.

It's all fun stuff, that we will never do again.

There's a lot more of it to go!

We are pretty decisive and clear, so the process has been easy and flowy.

There's just a lot of stuff.

But it doesn't have to be hard. It can be light, if I let it. If I let some of the other, less necessary stuff go. If I'm gentle with myself as I do it.

Understanding, compassionate, caring. To myself.

I am going to enjoy the next ten weeks.

And if that means letting some other opportunities fly on by in the meantime, so be it.

They'll be back.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Giving away your power

Often when I'm working with clients particular themes come through over a period of days or weeks. Even though the specifics are different, there are strong similarities.

When that happens I know I need to *pay attention* because there's something for me to learn and understand ... and sometimes to share with you.

There are several themes weaving their way through my practice at the moment but the one I want to talk about now is giving away your power.

What does giving away your power mean to you?

Do you have a sense of having power?

Does the word have a positive or negative feeling to you?

Most of us don't really think a lot about having power and what that means. And meanwhile give away our power all the time.

So what am I talking about here?

Giving away your power can be things like ...
  • worrying about what other people think
  • spending time with people who drain your energy or make you feel bad about yourself
  • putting the needs of others before your own and then resenting it
  • repeatedly putting yourself in situations that make you feel unhappy
  • deciding you have no control over certain situations and feeling helpless
  • letting your work take over your life and stop you looking after yourself
  • thinking you have no choice but to feel a certain way because *insert reason*
  • feeling like you need to explain or justify yourself to do what's best for you


Do you do any of these things?

Often the realisation we are giving away our power is powerful in itself.

We've often never even thought about it.

Why would I do that, we wonder, that will never work!

If you're doing one or more of these things, it might just be a matter of becoming aware ... and choosing differently in the future. It's often just a mental shift.

So, what might taking your power back mean?

It will be different for everyone ... these are the kinds of things that it has meant for clients lately. See if anything stands out for you:

Taking responsibility for how you feel within yourself. Making decisions that feel good for you. Doing your own thing and not worrying what others think. Putting your needs first so that when you do need to be there for others, you can feel good about it, rather than resentful.

Taking control of your attitude to your situation. Calmly standing your ground when people are aggressive or rude to you and realising it's probably to do with them and not you.

Spending time with people who support you ... and being supportive of yourself when this is not possible, for example, in a difficult work environment. Spending some time alone if you need it. Doing things that nurture you. Being gentle with yourself.

Choosing to love and accept yourself regardless of what's going on around you.

The shift

It has been interesting to see that once clients have worked on this ... the situation or the people around them don't necessarily change ... but their whole perspective does. When they come back for their next session and I ask how it's all going, there's a major shift.

"Oh I decided not to spend time with that person/those people for now, it just doesn't make me feel good"

"I've been more confident and clear at work and people seem to realise I mean it and everything is going more smoothly"

"I've just been focusing on what I need to do and I haven't even been thinking about what other people think"

"It hasn't really changed but it doesn't seem to bother me anymore, I feel in control"

It doesn't have to be hard

The interesting thing my clients have been saying is that when they take back their power, there is rarely the resistance from other people, work or whatever it was they imagined was holding them back.

When we shift, it all shifts.

Most of the time, there doesn't even seem to be comment, let alone the conflict or confrontation they may have initially feared. This is probably because some of the emotion has been defused. Taking back your power is not an act of anger or force. It doesn't have to be hard. It can be easy. Gentle.

It's a Sovereignty thing

Havi calls this kind of thing Sovereignty and defines it like this:

“the spiritual quality of not giving a shit.”
“the state of not giving a damn what people think because you are the king or queen of your life.”
“being at home in your body and your life.”
“knowing that you are only responsible for your stuff, not for anyone else’s.”

What do power or sovereignty mean for you at the moment? Do share!

Image: by d3b...*

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Opening to possibility

When you study something like Kinesiology every second weekend over a period of three years you get to know the other people you're studying with rather well.

There tends to be lots of discussions about future possibilities and it was about two years ago that a friend in my course told me she thought I'd teach yoga one day. This lady is very intuitive but on this point, I knew she was wrong.

First of all, I didn't want to. I wasn't even attending regular classes due to study induced busyness and exhaustion. And the prospect of devoting even more time and more money towards study was highly unappealing.

"You won't have to study yoga teaching," she told me.

Ha, well that was ridiculous. Everyone knows that if you want to teach yoga you need to do a yoga teacher training course.

In any case, teaching was the last thing from my mind. I had just left primary teaching behind me, thank you very much. The thought of teaching anything again made me feel quite anxious. Although I'd quite liked teaching and knew I was quite good at it, I was completely over it. So many people to please, so much work to do, so much structure, always feeling guilty because I should be doing more, more, more.

"It will start in February."

Despite my resistance, the friend kept bringing it up. She started to mention workshops.

"They'll start out small but they'll get much bigger."

I doubted it. I couldn't imagine it and also, I didn't want to imagine it. What would I even run a workshop on? I had no idea.

Even though my job at the education dept involved me giving regular presentations to teachers, I didn't love public speaking. I'm naturally fairly shy and I was NOT looking to do more of it, especially not by choice. Really, it's not what I want to do, I assured her.

Also, stop bringing it up, I know it's not going to happen, can we talk about something else?

"They want you to know it will be easy. It will be different. You'll just know what to say. It will be fun. You'll feel like you do when you write on your blog."

Oh. I still doubted it were possible. But if it felt like that, it might be ok.

Of course, I probably needed all these hints along the way. Opportunities to look at my fears so that later, I might be ready. Reassurances that it might actually be enjoyable, if I chose to go down that path. If I hadn't needed these pieces of information, my friend probably never would have offered them.

We get the help we need.

You might imagine that when I met Nadine, about a year ago, that all the pieces quickly fell into place. You'd be wrong. Take this conversation that we had about our respective futures:

Kerry: Of course I love my Kinesiology so I'll be doing that. I might do some more yoga one day and who knows, maybe some workshops and writing but I don't know what about.

Nadine: Well I love my yoga so I'll be doing that. I'll definitely do some more writing and probably bigger workshops and retreats but I don't know what about.

Gosh girls, I hope you can figure it out!

So this year I finally made it to my first yoga class with Nadine - in February, when else?? After the class we went for coffee at Brother Buba Budan.

"Maybe we should do a workshop together on yoga and Kinesiology?" I suggested. We rang the Hub and booked it in, for July.

And so it began.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Finding the words

A couple of days have passed since Nadine and I ran our first Unstuck workshop, and I'm still waiting for the words to arrive.

There was much anticipation and we got lovely feedback on the day and since. Nadine is processing too.

Powerful doesn't begin to describe it.

This has been one of the biggest parts of the process all along. Finding the words.

We work on different levels, the two of us, with our yoga and Kinesiology. But we are realising the words are the same. Words that can explain what we see and what we feel and what we know.

We already work with people who are going through enormous change. We learn, all the time, through them.

And as we go, we are finding the words to express the ways we work with and understand emotions and feelings and the process of change.

Luckily we work in tandem. "Nadine, I can't find my words," I will say. "Don't worry," she will tell me, "I have mine today." And then, it switches.

As we began to write the notes for our workshop, I kept seeing a quote. I didn't know the source but I'd seen it many places and it kept flashing up. I must write that down, I thought, I must remember to put that in. I got home and opened the notes that Nadine had started.

There was the quote, right at the top of the page:

'Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come most alive, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.’ Howard Thurman

When we read through the notes now, we can't quite remember who wrote what. Our words, our ways of understanding this work are beginning to merge. And still changing.

Words that can articulate and explain the energies we work with and feel. Words that give us all permission to be fallible. Words that encourage exploration, that help you to remember what you know.

To really own all that you are.

The light and the dark, the awareness and the ignorance. To acknowledge and accept and love yourself exactly where you are. And from that point, to make choices.

We have had to do all this ourselves to create the work. Of course running the workshop itself brought up an even deeper layer of that. We feel raw too, slightly exposed. But grateful. And proud of ourselves too.

For having the courage to trust and be open to creating something that is new, to us. For being scared at times, and unsure. And then gently moving into and through our fears ... into the unknown.

And now after the workshop, there is the sense of a void.

A silence.

A waiting.

Integration time, we'll call it.

And then, the beginnings of a trickle. The mind and the body and the heart start to re-wire themselves with their new awareness and understanding.

Things start to flow.

As we keep being reminded as we do this work: It doesn’t have to be hard. It can be easy. Simple.

If you let it.

And just like that, the words return.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

A new wardrobe ... for my business!

I feel like I've just gone out and bought a whole new wardrobe for my business. After Leigh-ann created the gorgeous poster for the workshop Nadine and I are running this Saturday(!) I decided to get one for my business.

Even though I've been in business for eighteen months, it's only now that I'm creating proper offline advertising materials. And when I realise that I am perplexed. How did I ever think I would build a business in Kinesiology, which is something that many people have never heard of, in an almost exclusively online environment? I don't know.

Maybe I was saved by my own naivette, because I have, and I'm lucky to work with fabulous clients who are smart and funny and who also teach me an enormous amount.

I've also had *lots* of Kinesiology sessions on building my business and in reality, that is what has made the difference. Like everyone I have freak outs and fears and perceived limitations and I just have to keep working through them as they come up. Do the work, you get the results. That is my experience, anyway.

Back to the poster. Do you like it? Isn't it pretty! Leigh-ann is so clever and so easy to work with. Highly recommended and very reasonably priced. After she started the poster I realised that nothing would match this new item.

Although I hadn't planned on doing so, it seemed as good a time as any to re-do my visual image-y stuff because even though I love my original logos etc, my style has probably shifted a little. I flow with it all more now and the new design reflects that. So Leigh-ann ended up doing a bunch of other stuff for me too - a header, logo, a banner, a magnet design thing.

Pretty soon I'll be moving my website and blog together and it will all be beautifully flowing and fabulous. At the moment the logistics are hurting my brain a little but I will get there.

The work that Nadine and I are doing is creating so much change for us and we have so many exciting plans for the future. Would you believe we've already been approached about running workshops in both Adelaide and Canberra next year? Uh huh. It's extroadinary.

We are most impressed with the Universe. The process has had it's challenges though, mostly because it has brought lots of our own stuff to the surface, old stuff like being ok being visible, feeling good enough etc. Which is ok ... because once it comes to the surface it can be cleared.

Can't clear what you can't feel or don't realise is there!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Sisterly love

Recently my sister wrote a lovely post about looking after yourself, prefaced rather amusingly with the words "I'm not the writer in the family". Hmmm. When I wrote the copy for my website, she was one of my main editors!

I asked her about her comment. She claimed she had picked up some writing tips from me. When pressed on what they might be, she said, "when in doubt, put a full stop." I'm sure THAT piece of wisdom - which of course I can't recall offering - makes all the difference!

It's not just one way though, my sister is the one who is good at all sports, running, acting and singing. And she is very organised. All things I shy away from. And I mention running when she probably hasn't run at all since school!

Isn't it interesting the way we make up our minds about what we are and are not good at.

I guess it is through our siblings that we first learn about who we are and who we are not in relation to others. Being "good" or "bad" at things seems so important and there are lots of ways to measure that - through grades, scores, results, games, events, races etc. Modes of comparison that mostly seem to fall away as you get older, and certainly become less relevant.

It is hard for me to even remember us competing or arguing as children, but I know we did. My sister can remember. When I told her I was writing about sibling rivarly, she suggested,

"Maybe mention that when the masking tape went down in the middle of the room, you got more space on your side because you got the doorway."

I've often heard it said that when looking for your passions to go back to your childhood as it was then that you were more likely to just do what you loved and what came naturally.

I suppose it is equally important to check in on whether you made any assumptions about yourself as a child that simply are not true anymore.

When working with clients I've also noticed it is quite common to hold onto old sibling patterns and rivalries. "Oh my sister was always the one who was good at art/ sport/ smarter/ prettier/ more popular."

Sometimes these beliefs are still holding the person back today. It can still be the reason why they won't, for example, draw or paint, even though they love it! And even though the comparison is no longer relevant.

It can also be true that the attention, time or energy that was devoted to this sibling as a result of whatever successes (or alternatively, issues) they may have had is still a source of resentment.

These days, I wouldn't regard my sister and I as competitive at all. It wouldn't even occur to me. Sometimes people tell me we're quite different. It's actually hard for me to say whether we are or not, I can't even really tell if we look alike.

We are very close and talk nearly every day, despite living in different states. She'll be my "matron" of honour later this year. She's funny, caring, loyal, strong and fabulous. And I love my sister to bits and pieces!

And yes, I've asked her to write for us again (when she's ready of course, new baby and all).

So, tell me about your sisterly or brotherly relationship! Any stories to share?

Image from Flickr: Sisters by mel e mo

Monday, June 28, 2010

How do you get around?


How do you get around?

Mostly, I ride just about everywhere. We live close to the Melbourne CBD and riding is the quickest way to get there. We're also close to St Kilda and that's an easy ride too. I love riding and of course it's a pretty healthy and environmentally friendly way to travel.

The only thing I need to master is the wearing of regular clothing whilst cycling. I find having to change from exercise wear a bit of a pain. And besides, I've seen lots of people manage in dresses, jeans, high heeled boots and looking fabulously chic. That's my goal. To be able to ride anywhere, wearing whatever I wish.

I try to wear regular clothing where possible, but so far I have ripped two pairs of jeans in the process. Apparently, jeans need stretch to cope with the leg up, leg down motion?!

Until recently, I occasionally drove.

Until last week at least, when I sold my car.

Even though I don't really need a car for the lifestyle I lead, and in fact only drove 4000km in the past TWO YEARS, it still feels like a loss.

A car feels like independence, to me at least.

I've had a car since I was 17 and have always driven, aside from those four years in the UK. When I got back the last time it had been two years since I'd driven and I felt like I needed to re-learn how! It wasn't automatic to me anymore and became something I needed to consciously think about how to do.

However it didn't feel like a negative not to have a car when I lived overseas, in fact I remember it felt quite free. No rego, insurance, unexpectedly expensive services (last time, nearly $1000!

It's just a matter of changing my thinking.

Even though we put it on carsale.com a month or so ago, I was still quite resistant to selling it and put the price a bit too high. No enquiries - phew. Oh, except for a scammer. That doesn't count :)

And then, one night, I met a friend for a drink in a neighbouring suburb. I had two wines but decided I'd walk home rather than drive.

Nearly two weeks later, I was walking around the area. I saw a car. It looked a lot like my car. I did a double take. There was a missing hub cap. The number plate was ... the same. It WAS my car. And it was in a half an hour PERMIT zone and had somehow not gotten a ticket.

I had left it there for two weeks and had not even once needed it or thought of it or wondered where it was. I know.

Clearly, I did not need it

So we lowered the price and got enquiries straight away and soon it was sold to lovely new owners who really want it and will probably drive it a lot more than me. Plus I now have a nice little sum of cash to use for some wedding expenses, which is definitely more than worth a little sacrifice.

The car is the barometer of your direction

That's what Annette Noontil says in her book, "The Body is the Barometer of your soul" (it's a bit like Louise Hay's book, which I prefer). Some of them are obvious, like constantly driving around on empty.

Which makes me wonder what sailing along "just fine" and then realising there are actually structurally significant problems that need to be fixed means?! That can't be good! Some extra repairs at the end when we did the roadworthy test did help to soften my recent romantic delusions about how fabulous it was to have my "problem free" and rarely-driven car.

She says that not being able to find where you parked your car your signfies a lack of direction. So, Annette, what does it mean if you FIND your car, and you aren't even LOOKING for it, hey??

Oh.

Come to think of it, I think that's exactly what has happened for Nadine and I recently, with our unexpectedly popular and already sold-out unstuck workshops. Not to mention the deliciously excited talks we're now having about other options and opportunities.

Ok, Annette, you win that one.

So tell me, how do you get around? Is a car necessary to your lifestyle? If your car has ailments, what might they mean? And if you don't have a car, can you please reassure me it will be fine?! :)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Change doesn't have to be hard


Doing things the hard way
Isn't it interesting how often we choose to do things the hard way. Especially when it comes to change. And even more so when it comes to changing ourselves. Do you? We don't mean to, it just happens like that. Often doing it the hard way means doing it alone and/or being really hard on yourself in the process.

That was definitely true for me, in those (ahem) 14 years of on/off depression, which I wrote about briefly here and sort of over here. Clearly I need to revisit that whole story. I was sure I'd told it. I mustn't have been ready yet.

For me, doing things the hard way meant blaming and criticising myself for how I felt, feeling annoyed at how I felt and angry at myself for not being more in control. For making mistakes. For - the horror! - not being perfect.

And wherever possible, denying, blocking and suppressing my feelings and emotions. Often with busyness, which was generally quite effective. Until I stopped, of course.

Big mistake!

I often felt worst when I thought I should be feeling better, such as during the holidays. And as a teacher, there were plenty of holidays. I had no idea what to do about this. So I just tried to be busier. Even after the depression left, this was a hard habit to break.

Another thing I did, without even realising, was cut off from my heart. I guess my heart was giving me messages of pain that I had no idea what to do with. It was like I couldn't trust myself to feel. I knew where that would finish up, with me feeling stuck and miserable.

I had to use my will and my mind to keep myself from the ever present threat of depression which I felt could sneak up on me at any time if I wasn't vigilant. And then take me days or weeks or months to get out of.

Feeling my heart was a luxury I could not afford.

I could think happiness, joy and love. But it got to the point where I really couldn't feel them.

What I could feel in my heart area was heavy, blocked, stagnant, tight, uncomfortable. Empty.

Good times.

When I first started seeing a Kinesiologist it was mostly because all the external factors of my life were pretty much as I thought I wanted them, but I still felt lost. I was still searching. I couldn't feel. I had no idea what I really wanted. I was barely managing to keep myself afloat.

There was nowhere left to go but within.

This was where it started for me and Kinesiology sessions. Lots and lots of stuff related to the heart. Loving and accepting myself (huh?), feeling connected to myself and others and just lots and lots of emotions stuck in the heart - fear, anxiety, melancholy, anger, sadness. All the things I did not want to feel.

Kinesiology brings what is hidden to our conscious awaress where it can be healed and the energetic side clears the energy around what is stuck or blocked.

I remember how strange it was to start feeling my heart. It felt lighter, there was warmth. I started to actually feel my emotions again. Good emotions - not just unpleasantness.

That was the beginning.

This is the thing with Kinesiology. It's about looking at your stuff properly - and yes, it does cut straight to the point. But it's also about being really gentle and kind with yourself during the process and not getting stuck in the hard.

Allowing flow back into your life.

I remember at the end of her first session, one client who'd had many sessions of more traditional therapies admitted she felt better but said:

"I don't get it. That wasn't hard enough. Weren't we supposed to really go into everything from my past ... re-live it ... feel all the emotion again? Really describe every detail? Shouldn't it feel more painful? It just feels like that was too easy."

Here's the thing. The hard way hadn't worked. And we joked about that. I still see this client now, a year later and she's definitely past that. There is always going to be stuff and there might be strong emotions of fear or sadness or anger.

But that doesn't mean it has to be hard.

I've noticed that for most people, it seems to come back to self acceptance. Really accepting yourself, even with whatever is going on for you. Even with the emotions you wish you didn't have. This is what works, what creates real change.

If you're used to being hard on yourself it doesn't seem possible. But there we are. Nearly always, part of the change that people need to make is to start to be more gentle with themselves.

I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear that I often attract girls with anxiety and depression - even if they don't know my background. I can tell as soon as they walk in the door. They look drawn, anxious, flat. They are smart, lovely girls and women with everything going for them. But they still feel miserable.

And I love that I have a strong suspicion that it's about to change.

I suppose this on my mind today for two reasons. One of these girls wrote this lovely review on google maps:

'Initially, I went to see if Kerry could help me with a deep, dark depression that I had been stuck in for 10 years. Even though countless other therapies had not helped at all, Kerry has made it disappear completely!

I am so amazed at the benefits of kinesiology that I've even decided to study it myself!‎'

And I saw a new client last week who like me, couldn't feel her heart at all. She joked that even in high school, people had remarked she had a 'cold, black heart'. And this week?

'I feel so much better on the inside. I think its starting to show because yesterday at work, four separate people told me that I looked "vibrant", "shiny" or "glowing". And today 2 more people said there was something different about me. It's just so wonderful to feel better and more positive about the future.

Meeting you is definitely one of the best things to happen to me.'


Imagine.

Image: Bendo silhouette by cvanstane

Sunday, June 20, 2010

A lesson in looking after yourself .. and detachment



I was talking to my sister the other night about the whole money vs looking after yourself thing. How often we seek help right at the moment we need it, rather than having a planned approach to looking after ourselves (like booking sessions in advance). On feeling like there needs to be a "problem to fix" for us to justify spending money on our wellbeing.
And she has a pretty interesting perspective on this stuff so I suggested she share it with you. Here it is.

So my sister, Kerry asked me to do a “guest blog” after a conversation we had. I said, "no, I’m not the writer in the family." Reconsidered.. and here I am!

I was commenting that I used to always book in appointments to make me feel good or because I felt drained and in need of an instant “quick fix” pick-me-up at the last minute.
In fact, who am I kidding? I still do it now.

Whether it’s a haircut, massage, acupuncture, kinesiology session, facial, naturopathy or getting my eyebrows waxed, I often find myself on the phone asking if there’s any appointments free that week.

I must admit, I did break out of this mould just over a year ago when I was feeling pretty shattered with work and depressed after a long period of time trying unsuccessfully to fall pregnant. I committed to seeing an acupuncturist monthly.
Same day, same time, every month.

In the beginning… I wanted to “FIX THINGS” and get pregnant, plain and simple.

I asked lots of questions “what are you doing now?” “what are you checking for there?” “has that improved do you think?”

After a while I decided to forget “TRYING TO FIX THINGS”and just go with it. And ultimately I felt better when I left. It was worth it just for that fact. It was something I enjoyed each month and it fit in with my weekly schedule.

What do you know… when I stopped thinking I could “FIX EVERYTHING” and enjoyed the experience without expectation, things started to shift. I put my faith in the fact that I knew I would feel better when I left. I started to feel more in the flow of life. Happier. Less tired.

Also?
I fell pregnant.

I’m not saying that the acupuncturist was the answer to everything. But what I do know is that when I scheduled in “me time” regularly. I felt better on a day to day basis, less likely to “hit a wall” so to speak. I still go monthly.

I feel less weary and look forward to my monthly sessions – almost like a top up in the wellbeing account!! The monthly commitment is an investment in me "feeling good".

It’s just the experience I had so I thought I’d share. xxx
Isn't that freaking awesome??

Thursday, June 17, 2010

How much do you value yourself?

Do you love yourself enough to invest in yourself?

Oooh this can be a difficult one, for lots of us. Whilst it makes sense to spend money on ourselves in a way that has real value, many people find it challenging.

At the moment someone close to me is struggling with some stuff - major stress about money. Bearing in mind that, as is often the case, there is the "actual" issue, and then there's all the stuff they're telling themselves about the issue. Which is making it feel ten times worse. And also bearing in mind that when people close to me have issues it does push my "I need to fix and help this" buttons which yep - is something I'm working on.

It feels so real

The thing with money is that when it's a problem it feels so real and present and impossible to argue with. It's there in black and white. We can feel like there are no options.

I was talking to Amanda, my original Kinesiologist, and now friend, about the situation and how I could deal with it without getting too involved (or overwhelmed myself).

So Amanda asked me, "Are they having some Kinesiology sessions then? To move it along?"

This person has had Kinesiology (though not with me) in the past.

Oh no, I said, I think they'd definitely say they don't have money for that at the moment.

"Ha!" said Amanda:

The ones who need it the most always say that.

They save that ninety or hundred dollars and stay stuck in their fears, in feeling like they've got no choice but to feel terrible, it starts to affect their health, their happiness and their relationships.

If they'd just spend the money on a session or two, they'd get some clarity, see new choices, options and opportunities and change the situation, or at least how it's affecting them."

Pretty nuts huh?

Who would do that?

*Sheepishly raises hand*

That is definitely something I've done in the past. Thankfully it's something I've personally moved past. Phew. But then, I need to be relatively sorted and clear to do my work, so spending money on my own wellbeing is pretty much essential.

I'd argue it's kind of essential for all of us.

Money is definitely a tricky and complicated area. And many of us were raised to believe it is wasteful to spend money on ourselves and our happiness and wellbeing - unless we really need it. Like, we're sick. Or have run out of other options.

But it feels true!

Let's look at this. It is quite rare that we actually do not have the money to do something, especially something that's in the $100 range. Maybe we can't do it every week - but it's money we can come up with, even if things are tight, over a period of say, a month.

When we say we don't have enough money to look after ourselves, it is usually more likely that we either don't see the value that can be gained from getting ourselves back in balance, we don't know how (hint: Kinesiology is one good way), we don't value ourselves enough to invest in our own wellbeing, or we just want to spend the money elsewhere.

Undecided?

I'm sure most of us have had the experience of being stressed with "no money" and then either accidentally or intentionally having a big night out to "forget about everything" and "have some fun". The next day, we're tired, probably hungover ... we've spent wayyy more than we intended ... and now we feel worse. If we can find the money to do that, we can find the money to look after ourselves.

Otherwise it might be the couple of lattes we have each day, the impulse buys at lunch, whatever. If we're working, we generally have money. And aside from the essentials of shelter and bills, we are constantly making choices about how we spend that money.

Investing in yourself works

Often regular Kinesiology clients report feeling more flow and ease in daily life. In addition to those things they might focus on in their session, they'll often say they're:

- attracting in the right people to help them
- getting the support they need
- seeing more options for ther lives
- easily finding solutions
- generally liking themselves more and feeling happier
- taking action

What price can you put on that?

And sometimes, clients start to attract more money too. This is especially true if you bring it in as something to focus on. Wanting more money in your life is no bad thing - most of us are more effective when we're not in survival mode. Funny, that!

What kinds of things? One regular client won a major cash/travel prize at work as recognition for her efforts last year, another attracted the right people to sell her house at a higher price and for greater ease than she'd expected, several have moved to higher paying jobs that they enjoy far more.

I often find that the times when I'm truly nourishing and investing in myself, the phone seems to ring more often with new bookings. Everything flows. Interesting, huh.

When your internal world is balanced, the outside world reflects that.

Do you invest in yourself? If so, how?
If not, I wonder what good might flow in if you did?

Friday, June 11, 2010

Being curious about what blocks us

So I'm exploring what it is like to do yoga and writing every day.

These are two things that I love to do. And I want to do them. And I know they're good for me - nourishing and helpful and kind. Not only that, I've now kind of committed myself ... mostly in my head ... to doing these things every day for the next 21 days.

And I'm wondering why the yoga, in particular, has always felt difficult. And why, even though I've been wanting to do a daily yoga practice for years, I've never managed it.

Being curious

Sometimes it can help to take an exploratory approach when looking at the things that are blocking you. So often we go straight into frustration or annoyance at ourselves about our behaviours ... WHY won't I do this or that thing.

So anyway, play along if you want. Is there something you want to do (something you know is good for you - like eating well or exercising regularly) that you somehow don't get to?

Let's begin

Speculate. Wonder. What might the reason be? Let's just play with it. Write down whatever ideas come to you.

While I'm telling myself that doing yoga every day would be helpful and nourishing and fun, what is my body actually hearing?

- routine (=boring!)
- oh my god, another thing I have to do
-
tick off the list - that's over with!
- you're going to make me get up early and be tired all day
- there is something here about not deserving pleasure that I don't pay for (that is weird! And quite unhelpful!)
- there is something else about not being good enough which I also don't understand. I don't feel this in a yoga class - it doesn't cross my mind. Why is this coming up about doing it by myself (oh right, my main critic)
- oh my goodness, my body is worried I'd be creating something for me to be critical of myself about - no WONDER it doesn't want me to do it

I am kind of surprised about the self criticism thing - I thought I'd let a lot of that go ... not with everything apparently ...

What about for you? Are you surprised at any of the responses you get?

Whatever we feel exists for a reason.

Is there somewhere you'd feel ok to start?

What about if you were to try this thing? Is there a starting point that you do actually feel comfortable with? Something that you'd find easy and fun and completely unthreatening?

For me and my yoga it was savasana (lying on the floor for 20 minutes). There is nothing about savasana that has anything to do with achievement and I don't even know how you could judge if you'd done a good job. By stillness maybe?!

The first day of my yoga I just did savasana. The next day, I felt like rocking on my back a bit too. I can't help but notice that each day I'm doing my practice a bit earlier in the day, doing a few more postures (that I feel like doing - there's no plan!) and actually enjoying it more and more.

And it is actually starting to feel like I always thought it should - something that is fun and nurturing and gentle. Something that I want to do ... and actually do.

Knowledge transmuted into wisdom

This is something that has also been coming up for some of my clients lately. So often we know what is best for us. Yet there is a big difference between knowing things and actually doing them, something that Marg just wrote about. But don't be too hard on yourself ... there is probably a really good reason!

But don't forget to ask yourself what it might be.

The knowledge might just be enough to change the way you feel about it so that you can go ahead and actually do it.

Image from Flickr: Yoga Girl by tiffanywashko

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Writing and yoga - 21.5.800


Writing and yoga are two things I definitely love ... but don't always make enough time for. So maybe that's why I was attracted to Bindu's 21.5.800 challenge - 21 days of practising yoga five days a week and writing at least 800 words a day.

It started on Tuesday 8th ... but you could join in if you like ... here's Bindu's guidelines:

THE WRITING: The writing can be ANYTHING. Memoir, blogs, business plans, essays, fiction, free-writing, letters,……..ANYTHING. The point is to get writing again daily and to have the boundaries and challenge of a daily word count to reach.

THE YOGA: There are several options for you to do the yoga portion of 21.5.800 5 times in 7 days. Here are the options:

1. Go to a yoga class in your ‘hood.
2. Do a yoga dvd at home.
3. Take a 20-40 minute savasana* (lying on the floor)

I'm feeling a little bad because it's already getting late and I haven't done either the writing OR the yoga yet ... however I'll now head over to the lounge room floor for some nice relaxing savasana and if I don't make the 800 words that will be ok for today.

However I'm looking forward to developing a routine and seeing what insights come up over the 21 days...

Friday, June 4, 2010

The Tower - Chaos? Well, definitely change.

Getting comfortable with the tower

If there is one card practically noone likes to show up in a tarot reading, it's the tower. No doubt about it, the tower means change. Often dramatic and unexpected and yep, a little out of our control.

Except ... take a look at the foundations of the tower in the image.

They're not exactly strong.

The tower is breaking apart and causing chaos because whatever it is that is falling apart was never strong enough to begin with. It can be something you've put your trust in, something you assumed to be stable such as a job or relationship, it could be that you're overly reliant on what others think of you, or that you've been choosing to ignore the dark and billowing clouds that have indicated a need for change for a while ...

What is real?

Sometimes the tower can feel like it comes out of the blue - and we get to find out, that confidence, that trust, that self belief ... is it real? Or do we need to work on that a little more?

When the tower shows up, it can mean that the things in your life that are not built on strong ground are going to be shaken up. The truth is going to come out. When the fuss and chaos has died down you will know where you're really at.

Don't be afraid, but do look at what's going on

I've learnt the tarot before but I'm doing another course at the moment ... and this week the tower has been coming up for me. And yes things did feel a little shaky within for a day or two. Rather than being fearful when the tower (or challenge in general) shows up, just think: interesting. What does that mean for me?

The tower can also signify a break through.

If you're willing to look at and deal with what's going on (and it's kind of hard not to look at the tower!) you can end up feeling like you might after a storm has passed, kind of cleansed and clear, with a greater sense of focus. And yes, a Kinesiology session will definitely help clear through some of that debris!

Getting clear

The truth will not necessarily be bad ... it might be that you just need to go within and really get clear about what you want and need and make sure you are giving that to yourself. There might be some attitudes, beliefs or behaviours from the past that you really need to let go of ... and you're being pushed to do this.

Avoidance ... just makes things worse

It's like in a Kinesiology session ... being honest with ourselves and learning from challenges and being prepared to address any negatives (so often this is related to how we speak to ourselves) can really result in amazing break throughs.

Staying on the surface and trying to ignore the things we don't want to feel or think about ... well, it only works for a while.

Whatever - the tarot is part of the cycle of life, there sometimes needs to be a breaking down of sorts to make way for the new. The card that follows the tower is the Star ... making a wish, setting goals, reaching for the stars. Sometimes we need to let go of some stuff first.

Oooh, free tarot readings

Here are two lovely sites for free tarot readings: Free Lotus Tarot and the Gaian Oracle.

So do tell, what's in the cards for you?

(And despite what I just said - I do kind of hope it's not the tower!!)

Monday, May 31, 2010

Feeling your feelings

Nicole's many feelings by allyaubry

I love this post on Feelings from @hiroboga (you can find her on Twitter). It's all about ... you guessed it, feelings - the language of the body.

People often laugh or cry in a Kinesiology session ... these are just two ways we release the energy associated with feelings. Both are equally good as an emotional release but it's fair to say that many of us favour laughing over crying. Rest assured ... crying is definitely a good thing. So much better than holding onto our emotions! As Hiro says,

All feelings are energy. Energy is vibration—in its natural state, it moves freely. When feelings are stifled or suppressed, or when you cling to them or make up stories in your head about them, you run into problems. (Emotions are feelings with a thought or thoughts attached.)

It's not the feeling itself that causes the problem.

Of course, we often know this. But the reality of our response doesn't always reflect it. If we feel joy it is natural to laugh ... however emotions such as anger or sadness are not so easily or socially appropriately expressed.

We tend to squash them down, suppress them, ignore them. If we do admit to them we tend to view them as bad, it can be almost like we see it as a failing that we have ALLOWED this negative emotion to come about.

Our feelings and emotions can also get mixed up with those of other people. And often our experience of emotions is heightened through links to experiences from our past, through the amygdala part of the brain which drags up similar emotional memories to helpfully aid our survival.

Kinesiology can be particularly helpful in this case, allowing you to discover the original stressful situations that may have locked into your body ... and to help diffuse the stress around them so you're not bound to whatever options or choices you had at that time.

Surrogating emotions (taking on) the emotions of eg your parents is particularly common in children. Sometimes we carry emotions for years without the conscious awareness that they're not even ours.

Feelings and emotions obviously exist to give us important information that enables us to survive ... to learn and to grow ... to experience life.

If you ignore the emotions you don't want to feel for long enough you can start to become confused about HOW you feel ... this is often the case with depression. Unpleasant feelings unexpressed or unacknowledged tend to end up in a big uncomfortable mess of yuck that feels hard to deal with.

Suppressing our emotions often leads us to feeling stuck.

Hiro encourages us to be playful with our feelings, to be curious about them. It reminded me of the way feelings and emotions are approached in a Kinesiology session ... as interesting and rational pieces of information that we try to unravel and feel compassion for ... rather that ignore.

Identify a feeling you’re feeling right now ... Notice where this feeling is located, in your body. What is its texture? Its flavor or color, its density, its shape? Does it feel prickly or cold? Small, hard, lukewarm? Like a jelly bean? Is it sour or dry, juicy or squishy?

How easy is it for you to feel your emotions in your body? Sometimes in a Kinesiology session I will encourage clients to focus on where they feel eg anxiety in their body ... this can be hard to start with but you do become more aware over time.

I love this part of the process here, which involves feeling the emotion of anger - an emotion that most of us have particular problems expresssing.

Once anger is flowing freely, notice how it feels, and how you feel. Then—in the spirit of exploration and experimentation—stop the flow of anger in your body. Shut it down, suppress it, argue with it or rationalize it—your choice. Notice how you feel when the flow of anger-energy is interrupted or stopped.

What an opportunity ... to consciously feel an emotion flowing freely ... and then to deliberately stop it and to really observe what this does to your body.

Soooo ... come play. You can read about the whole process here ... I'd love to hear how you go if you try it!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Transition essence comp!

Change ...

Sometimes, when we're feeling stuck, real change seems impossible to achieve.

This month I'm giving away a Bush Flower "Transition Essence".

Flower essences are vibrational remedies that can have subtle yet powerful effects on your energy. Transition essence is a blend designed to assist you during times of change.

To win, just leave a comment by the end of Monday 31st May sharing ...

  • a quote about change
  • a comment about a transition time you're going through
  • how you feel about change
  • something like that ...

Willingness to change often comes up in Kinesiology sessions, especially at the start. Often we think we're ready for change ... but what we really want is for things around us to change ... we want a new job, or our health to improve, the anxiety to be gone, to have better relationships ... or whatever it is.

We just want things to be different, with minimal effort on our behalf.

Unfortunately, imbalances in our lives often reflect imbalances within. Changing the external and forgetting the internal will often just 'solve the problem' temporarily. We get the new job and a few months later realise we're not sure about that either ... attract new relationships with similar issues ... mask the anxiety with a pill or drinking ...

We have to start with ourselves. And we have to be willing to put in some work. Something like Kinesiology or yoga helps you to make changes from within ... and over time you learn to see your own patterns and create balance within yourself.

* Subscribe to follow up comments to read what other people write and to find out who the winner is! I'll then get the winner to email me and post the essence out to them! :)

There's also the Yoga and Kinesiology Getting Yourself Unstuck workshop on July 10th!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Get unstuck!


We all get stuck. Things become cloudy. Nothing flows. We WANT change. But it feels completely out of reach. Decisions, choices... it all feels too hard.

Come join Nadine and I for the Unstuck workshop!

Workshop includes a strong yoga practice and elements of Kinesiology, including acupressure and visualisation.

Learn how to tune in to your ‘stuck’. Use yoga and acupressure to create balance in your body. Get things flowing again. Feel calmer, clear and more at peace. So you can shine!

The Hub, 17 Waterview Walk, Docklands
Saturday 10 July 2010, 2 - 5.30pm, $75
Book here.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Epiphanies are Stoopid

raindrops, leaf by Вася Артёмов

The trouble with epiphanies is that when you GET it? Seems so obvious. It's almost crazy that that you didn't get it earlier.


And pretty common in Kinesiology.

You won't always get them, but there is something about the way that the information comes together that can allow you to see what you're doing - your patterns - in a whole new light. And all of a sudden you can have a whole new realisation. Amazing.

And you might find that when you try and put that ASTONISHING new insight into words, or try and explain it to someone else, it just seems kind of obvious. Like - yeah, of course. So hard to convey the life changing awesomeness of this new thing you get. And not just 'get it in your head' but really, truly understand it in your body and what it means for you in your life moving forwards.

Let's try some examples from clients.

"So I'm always seeking recognition and acceptance from others. And yet when I do get praise or acknowledgement I refuse to accept it. That's NEVER GOING TO WORK!"

"I'm really sensitive and I pick up on everybody else's feelings and emotions and then I get overwhelmed and confused and think that my own life is falling to pieces when really I just need to get some clearer BOUNDARIES!"

"I put others first and try to protect other people from how I feel but now I'm the one who feels sick or upset or angry. I'm protecting them but hurting ME!"

"I feel isolated and alone and depressed at this time of year because subconsciously it reminds me of that time in high school when all my friends turned against me because it was 'my turn' to be bullied ... right before the school holidays. But that's so not true NOW!"

Sometimes just the recognition of what's going on and the understanding of how it's impacting on you now is enough to let it go. And the Kinesiology helps to move the energy of it.

Boring old me and my pet kangaroo*

So I stole the title of this post from one of Havi's. Oh and that heading too. I read her blogs - Fluent Self and Shivanata - just about every day and her ideas have been so influential in the way I think about pretty much everything, especially in relation to my business.

One of the biggest things I'm really, properly learning is that it is ok to be completely yourself*. Oh look! Another epiphany that is completely obvious when written down. I mean, that's pretty much my whole work.

But it's about really owning that, being ok to do that in a visible way and getting clear on what is important to you. In every area of life. Even as things grow and change. Especially as things grow and change.

So I guess I have a mentor! On the other side of the world, who I've never met and who has no reason to know that I exist. Sometimes she even teaches me stuff in my dreams which I will definitely admit is kind of weird. I guess it is just my subconscious processing what I've read.

Ah, the power of the internets.
So anyway, what about you? Any epiphanies you'd like to share?

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Living Creatively

Crayola Lincoln Logs by laffy4k

I was talking about work with another of the girls at Sakura Lounge recently. She asked,

"Do you get stressed by your work?"

Truthfully I don't get stressed by seeing clients. As you can probably guess, I love what I do.
Sometimes the first session in particular can be very emotional for the client and at the start the list of things that Aren't Going Well is often rather long.

However I've had so many experiences of seeing those same clients come back a week or two later looking different; lighter, and feeling much better already. And I've repeatedly seen how quickly things start to move forwards from there ... so I know that things will change. It's awesome. And I balance Kinesiology with the other work I do, including some work in an office environment.
"I can't imagine you in an office job!" the girl told me,

"I can only see you as Kerry the Kinesiologist!"

Isn't it funny how things change.

It reminded me of how just a few years ago, I felt so stuck in teaching. I knew I didn't want to be a teacher for my whole life. But I had no idea what I wanted to do. No idea where to begin.
Nothing was jumping out whatsoever. And I was also really busy. That's what I remember about teaching. The constant rush of too much to do, not enough time to do it properly and how will I avoid getting burnt out. Pressured and so structured.

Though I'd been seeing a Kinesiologist, I didn't even consider it as an option for me til after I'd had a pretty extroadinary session - the one where we worked on the depression stuff that had been around for years.

It was in a Kinesiology session soon after that it came up that I was 'bored'.

"I am NOT bored, I am WAY too busy," I said.

However, when we looked into it, yep I was bored. And when we went looking for what it was that I did want? I recall it was hard to get to. And then the word creativity came up. Which made me cry! I had no idea why. But creative I was definitely not.

Creativity comes in many forms.

Creativity is obviously not just drawing or writing or creating some other form of art ... you can be creative in the way you live your life and express yourself.

I've noticed the (very) occasional person in my life wondering where I'm taking all of this ... do I have a goal to work full time as a Kinesiologist, do I have a preference for one aspect of what I do. I can see the variety is confusing for them. Perhaps to them it would feel unstable. It's not the standard way to approach your work life.

But truly - the balance is what works for me. And I find it creative. I may not continue to work in an office forever but the doing a million things? It suits me. As much as I love Kinesiology, I also love it because it's not all I do.

It is so amazing to have the choice.

Some of my clients are at that stage of wanting to make the move into something new ... yet not knowing what that is. I've missed out a few steps here. It wasn't easy. There were plenty of steps along the way and often I couldn't see where I was going.

If I had? I probably would have gotten in the way, creating walls and limitations through my own fears that it wasn't possible.

Looking after myself

I'm not complacent, I consciously continue to look after myself. I restrict the number of clients I see in a day and schedule breaks. I make sure I do things for myself like have massages and Kinesiology sessions and go to yoga and do meditation. I do quite a bit of self Kinesiology too - holding points, working with chakras, using flower essences and cards.

We'll be looking at some of that stuff at the (fully booked) Getting Yourself Un-Stuck workshop next Sunday (though there's another next month!)

Balance - at last!

So yes, I've been through some very unbalanced times to get here but now my life is working pretty well. I work casually in an office job related to my background in education and am incredibly fortunate to be able to do as little or as much as I am able to with that. And I also do some online work related to education and web 2.0ish stuff from home. Plus of course I write my blog and now I'm doing workshops and so it goes.

I like variety and am comfortable with different roles and I have a balance of working with others (I do like having colleagues), in groups, by myself and one-on-one, working deeply with emotions and just focusing on a task, complete freedom and some structure.

So there we go. I didn't have a clear picture of what I wanted, but I was committed to change and working on myself and trusting my instincts.

If you're also looking for big change in your life I would say this:

Dream big. And trust yourself. It is possible.

Monday, May 3, 2010

On grieving

Velvet by »dolfi«

I can't say that I knew much at all about grief until this year, and compared to many, I still don't.

The first

You might remember that I wrote about the experience that Laurence and I had the weekend we got engaged. That was really my first close up experience of death. It was traumatic and graphic, though not personal, as of course we didn't know the man.

Earlier this year, I had my second experience. My 21 year old cousin, full of life and fun, was in London for the first time, a place that I lived for several years. Within 24 hours he was dead, unwittingly elecrocuted crossing train tracks. Such a vibrant, fun person ... someone I remembered most as a child; blonde hair, rough and tough through growing up on a cattle station and so good natured. The type of child that falls over and rather than crying, immediately laughs. Attending that funeral was among the worst experiences of my life. Such obvious unfairness.

On energy

When you work with energy like I do, it is interesting to observe how what happens in your life impacts on your work. After the funeral, I didn't have any new enquiries for about three weeks ... my energy kind of shut down for a bit - I had enough to work with existing clients, but apparently noone new.

Around this time I had a Kinesiology session. The Kinesiologist I saw is intuitive and commented that there may be a third.

And there was.

The third death was my Grandfather. I mentioned him over here. He really had such an enormous impact on my life and my childhood in particular. He was a true adventurer, and a visit to my Grandparents farm inevitably involved go-carts, teepees, canoes, boats, fishing, yabbying, water fights or some form of action. He didn't necessarily deal so well with the ageing thing and the not being able to be the adventurer anymore. His death was not completely unexpected, and in many ways, as he now lived in hospital, it was a blessing that the situation had not persisted for years longer.

This was my intellectual reaction.

My body did not experience it that way.

Philosphical initially, I found that the death impacted on me in ways I hadn't anticipated. Old anxieties, sadness, worries, fears, insecurities, memories, even a little bit of depression, came back up to the surface again. Things I thought I'd dealt with were suddenly back. I felt terrible.

What is going on?

Extreme and unconsciously controlled emotions, like grief, come from the amygdala part of the brain, where emotional associations related to particular events are stored. These are the emotions that can seem to come from nowhere, the ones we don't expect and can't always explain. These are the emotions we're going back to when we find signficant times and events from your past.

'Once emotional memory is lodged in our subconscious amygdala, a stimulus can trigger these emotions and feelings to enter our consciousness, often with the same power and impact of the original event'

Dr Charles Krebs, A Revolutionary Way of Thinking

In my case, feeling the grief, sadness, insecurity and worry I felt with the death of my Grandfather, along with the knowledge that he'd battled depression for the past twenty years, brought back up to the surface countless other times I'd experienced those emotions over the years. I guess the depth of the emotion brought more examples to the surface that usual.

It was like my Grandfather was one of the cornerstones of my life - one I didn't even realise was quite so foundational. Losing him made me all of a sudden feel unsafe, unstable, insecure. And of course, there was also the little girl in me who still knew that she was loved and adored by her Grandfather, and that he could not be replaced by anyone.

Has that ever happened to you?

I've realised this is what happens for many of my clients too, and in many cases it is probably what has brought them to Kinesiology - grief of some kind - whether relationship loss, death, trauma, job change, a major fear, whatever it may be, has suddenly brought all their stuff to the surface. What was previously bearable now needs to be looked at.

Sometimes people say - I can't understand why this is all happening now.

Though I'm not going to suggest it's a good thing or that you'll see it that way, it can be an opportunity to work through some deeper issues and improve the way you view your life and yourself.

Life keeps happening of course, you're never 'sorted'. But once you've actually worked on your stuff, when and if it comes back up to the surface, it usually moves through more quickly and smoothly.

And that's what I found. I allowed myself to feel how I felt, accepted it, reminded myself that I would feel better soon, did some self Kinesiology, had a few Kinesiology sessions ... and things soon felt more stable again. However that was me, dealing with this particular situation, in the best way that I could. There are far more extreme forms of grief and it goes without saying that different situations require a different approach depending on the individual.

Extreme emotions

Feeling extreme emotions is part of life. You don't have to cut off or deny them. Sometimes we make it worse for ourselves, especially if the reason for our emotion is less obvious, or in our eyes 'acceptable', by thinking that we shouldn't feel this way, we shouldn't be in this position. Many of my clients are harsh on themselves in this way.

What you feel is what you feel.

But you don't have to get stuck and continue to go downhill either.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Hope & Joy . . .


It is often such a big decision to make an appointment to see someone like a Kinesiologist and it was for me too ... will it be the right thing? Should I just go for a massage instead? Or do I really need a counsellor? Will I like her? Will it work? What do they even DO?!!

That was exactly the experience this client had. She just wrote a part of her story and has given me permission to share it with you ...

My mum started seeing a kinesiologist / chiropractor after being very ill and being recommended by a friend of hers. I left home before she started seeing her guy and I remember talking to her about it briefly over the phone and she has always referred to him as her “witch doctor” but she never really went into what he did with her.

I’ve always been interested in self-development and have been helped at times by the right people and information being brought into my life at the right times and I’ve always been open to alternate therapies.

Cut forward to late 2009.
I’m well and truly stuck in a pretty deep dark rut, I’d say I was bordering on a meltdown. I was pushing my partner away, I was very rarely happy or motivated, I had been consistently fighting regular throat gland infections for as long as I could remember (on and off for at least 3 years).

I’d had some really low moments with my partner and had been considering the idea of seeing a counsellor about the issues swamping me. I’d also always had trouble verbalising my feelings and thoughts, scared that the true me would push the people I loved away. Around this same time my throat glands had swollen again.

Enter Google and then Kerry.
Before I had the chance to chicken out I’d emailed her for an appointment. So I go to my appointment with Kerry very nervous and not sure exactly what to expect and boy did I get a pleasant surprise. I sat with Kerry while she probed me about my reasons for coming and I think the most I was able to tell her were the issues around my throat glands/infections. So we started there.

As it turns out Kerry and kinesiology was the very right thing for me.

After my first session with Kerry my throat pain had almost dissolved. I left the lounge really just “freaking” out (in a good way!). It took me about a block to stop shaking enough to dial my mum. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to tell my mum exactly what had happened and what Kerry and I had addressed and exactly how I felt after walking out of the lounge.

What Kerry has done for me since ...

- After the first session and since I haven’t experienced any throat gland infections (my biggest revelation!).
- I’ve worked with Kerry on verbalising my thoughts and feelings.
- Together we’ve explored some of my more deep rooted fears.
- I’m happier overall, I’m communicating well with my partner and am no longer scared to express the real me.

Kerry has scared me a few times with our work together! She quoted me Louise Hay at our second session (I think) and I remember saying to her can I have a look at that book. Sure enough I’d ordered the same book a few weeks earlier and it had been delivered to me the day before our session!

We covered a lot of Louise in subsequent sessions and I’d said to Kerry that I hadn’t yet had a chance to read the book. Kerry said to me well your body is determined to hear this information even if I have to read the whole thing to you. Since finishing the book we haven’t used Louise in our sessions!

I leave every session with Kerry feeling better, lighter, happier, more focused and prepared to tackle what’s coming.

I can’t recommend her enough. The change she has helped me to make in myself is huge. And what my mum told me is spot on.

“I can’t describe how or why but it just works!”

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

New! Awaken Experiences

Focused 30 minute sessions that are easy to fit into your day and cost just $50. Leaving you feeling calm and clear, these sessions are a great way to look after yourself.

How to choose?

Either decide what you most want – positivity, energy or calmness … or choose your favourite tool – essences, crystals or energy work. Want to try them all? A pack of three is $135. Let me know if you’d like a gift voucher too. Fun!

The experiences ...

Positivity - Flower essences
Essences are subtle but powerful vibrational remedies which can help to dissolve negative attitudes, enabling you to create more positivity in your life. Bush, Bach and Desert flowers help to create greater awareness. They may be taken orally or combined with affirmations, acupressure points, sound or the chakras to gently create harmony in your body, leaving you feeling calm, supported and clear.

Energising - Crystals
Focusing on the wisdom of the crystals. Crystal stones, essences, cards and accompanying information are used to create insight and understanding. Combined with chakra work, acupressure points and visualisations, this session will reduce stress and help you feel lighter and refreshed.

Calming - Energy work
This calming, quiet and gentle session will really allow you to relax. When you’re stressed and stuck in your head, sometimes more information is not what you need. Get back in touch with your body. Energetic techniques which may include lightly holding a series of acupressure points, especially those associated with brain function, and the use of sound, light or flower essences in the chakras and auric fields. At the end you can find out any key themes!

What are these sessions for?

For those times that you’d love a session but you don’t have time to come in for an hour, also great for a top up between session times, to give you a boost, as a treat … or these sessions also make a lovely gift.

They're also ideal if you just want to check Kinesiology out and want to get a bit of an idea of how it works before you commit to a longer session.

These sessions wouldn't replace the full holistic experience of a regular one hour session, especially when you're trying to create change, but if you want to relax and recharge and lack time? Perfect!

At Sakura Lounge in the Melbourne CBD and Clyde St Studios, St Kilda.
Email kerry.awaken@gmail.com to make a booking or call 0403257431.
Yay!